Just for Today

I am the most logical and irrational of women.
Loved by a man who is all too human.
He waited for me to realize
That if I really wanted to go
I would give no warning.

We won’t go back to life as usual
I will be the woman my mother was
Instead of the one she told me I should be.
Too many years have gone for me to start again
And while he is not everything I need
No one is.
I will take those things I must have from this day on.
I will not throw myself on the grenade
Or whimper quietly in the silence of my room.

In the end it comes down to this.
It’s not about the chaos he leaves in his wake
Or sex, or dreams for the future,
Or the damage he’s done, mostly to himself, but some to the children.
It’s about love, whatever the hell that is
And he loves me more than any man ever has
Because he stayed and put up with my crap too
And loved our children, including the one I bore before I knew him.
I never had to tell him to hold me when I’m hurting.
He knows to take me in his arms without a word.
He knows when I need to cry and won’t because of pride.
He knows me better than I know myself,
The same way I know him.