Somehow I’ve pulled the Christmas thing together while working more hours than there are in the week, spending more money than I made, and burning many more calories than I consumed. It’s all right though. My manager pulled me aside today to talk promotion, the floor under the tree is laden with packages, and I’m down 65 pounds as of this week. I don’t know if it will help me make a decision, but my oldest and I are going out for coffee Sunday morning to talk. The rest of the house will be sleeping, because he and I are the early risers in the family. We could just sit in the kitchen and be alone, but leaving to talk is symbolic somehow. I know he wants me to stay, and is going to want me to tell him exactly what I might gain by leaving.
My one confident at work told me I should make a list with the pros and cons, then make a decision based on logic. He is a delightful, and very happily married bear of a man, grumpy and growling in the morning, while I play little Mary Sunshine. He’s not one of the people I fool any of the time. “Maybe you’re right.” I tell him, lying. What I’m actually thinking is how little we of the opposite sex understand each other. I do need to make a list for Christmas dinner, and of chores to finish before Monday morning, but my husband’s pros and cons are twisted about like chewing gum in my hair. Somehow between now and Sunday morning I need to come up with the answer to a lot of questions, especially the one about what I want. I think I already have an answer though. It's printed on a sweatshirt my middle son got for his close to Christmas birthday one year...
What'd you get your husband for Christmas?
ReplyDeleteOkay, so Marsha's going to hell for being on her knees all of the time?
ReplyDeleteAnd you think that John's drinking problem is somehow interfering with his ability to read your mind?
I got him what he asked for, a Playstation, plus clothing, etc. Since I bought him a motorcycle this year I’m not going overboard on gifts for Christmas.
ReplyDeleteI actually don't think Marsha or I either one are going to hell. I don't believe in hell or heaven, unless you mean the one we create for ourselves on earth. I was actually pretty much in heaven when I was on my knees this week, but I didn't say I was there all the time. Am I being too subtle?
My husband knows my mind all too well. He knows there was never a time when I was not there when he reached for me, and he knows my passion, my needs. He knows. I have no desire to hurt him, and on nights when he is sober I sleep in the circle of his arms all night long. I probably have made up my mind to stay as long as we can maintain this balance.
it's a precarious perch you find yourself on. here's hoping to having a cake and eating it too ;)
ReplyDeleteoh and btw, i've just been upgraded to a jacuzzi suite with a queen size bed in the land of fire and brimstone...join me won't you?!
ReplyDeleteHow nice, we're neighbors. My room has the king size bed, just down the hall to the left. I'm not so much worried about keeping my cake intact as his.
ReplyDelete