2007

Who knew I’d live this long? It was certainly not my mother, who also had some suggestions on where I’d be spending eternity. I didn’t actually plan on making it past thirty, because all of my generation though they’d drop the bomb, just like Bob told us in Talking WW III blues. The atmosphere of the nation of my youth was fatalistic, but at the same time, giddy and frantically intense. Sex was generally more casual than today, with fewer consequences in the form of STD’s. In addition to an emphasis on “free love”, the Woodstock generation was not concerned with material processions, or power, or status. So what the hell happened to them? The globe is certainly no safer than it was back then, in fact, we may be closer to doomsday than ever before. What caused the boomers to abandon their ideals, vote Republican, and get us into another nasty unwinnable war? Oh, did you think I had an answer? Nope, I’m completely baffled. My politics are still the same as they were in my idealistic youth, unlike most of the people I still know from that era. I do run into an old hippie now and again, and we rehash and lament the loss of the power base that was going to change the world, but then the cocktail party is over and we both go back home and do nothing. Well, I actually do some things to volunteer in the political arena, but just enough to make me realize I’m not going to make any changes that way. In truth my power to change anything is limited to a very small circle, one about the circumference of my shadow at noon on a summer day. So this gets me around to the reason for my post, New Year’s resolutions.

First I should rehash last year’s resolutions and see where I stand with those. My main aim at that time was weight loss. It’s why I originally started this blog, although in doing so I found a new voice that had been greatly suppressed on my “family blog”. It turns out that my issue was not with weight at all (surprise), but with the reasons why I had turned to food to self medicate. As everyone in the fucking universe who has been within the sound of my voice knows, I’m so over that. I still have some of the baggage of my bad old days to shed, about 50 more pounds. That should put me back into the purple hip hugger bell bottoms I was wearing the night I met my husband. Okay, I won’t be wearing those again guys, but the point is, I will be able to fit into a 10 again by sometime in April. That was the extent of last’s year’s resolutions. I never make many, because the ones I do make I keep. I find they have a way of winding about and making me realize other things that must be changed. With my weight issue last year I tackled the elephant in the living room, my husband’s drinking. The beast is still sitting there, but making no pretense at invisibility any longer. Now all that said, I can get to my new goals for 2007. They are deceptively simple.

1. Demand that my husband get treatment for his alcoholism.
2. Start doing the things I was putting off because I was going to lose weight first.

That’s it boys and girls. Since last years single resolution has turned my little world upside down, I think these two should rock that world on its foundations.