Open Wide

Yesterday my very cute 30 something dentist made a lot of money by putting two temporary crowns in my mouth. I spent two hours in his chair and he is about 1400 dollars richer. Of course what good is money when you are clueless? 

Let me explain. Please. 

I have my ipod on shuffle. The man has his fingers and god knows what else positioned strategically on my upper right molar. He seems to have something to say, so I push pause and pull out one earbud. My really cute thirty something dentist says, 

"This is going to feel like I'm shoving a lot of meat in your mouth." 

I try to process what he has said through my brain to make it sound like something other than what he just said. About that time he pushed a small tray full of goo onto my molars and said, "Bite down hard." 

Such are my excellent acting skills that I just put the earbud back and let Roysopp remind me, "The woman holds her tongue, knowing silence will speak for her." 

Later, finished with my teeth he frees me by removing the tiny chain and bib from around my neck. "So," says adorable but clueless, "Do you have any questions?" I smile with my numb mouth and  do NOT say, "What time do you get off?"

I think I have amazing restraint.