I'm not saying pigs can't fly, but...

I know it’s weird, but I love airports and really enjoy traveling.  As long as I’m being honest, I also need to tell you that I really dislike my brother. I won’t bore you with details, but trust me if you met him you would too. You can imagine how conflicted I was when I realized early last week I was going to have to make room in an already jammed packed schedule to fly to Kentucky to face him down in court Monday afternoon.  It was with very mixed emotions I sacrificed my frequent flyer miles to make what was suppose to be the last chapter in the endless saga of setting my father’s estate.  Sunday I got a call from my lawyer. He advised me that the opposing lawyer had come down with an unlikely case of swine flu after visiting Texas and would not be able to make it to court. I told him my ticket was non refundable and I suspected that the only swine she has an association with was my piggy brother. He told me he would see what he could do.

An hour later he called me back and said to come anyway. I could give my deposition to the judge and the others could testify later. Not good, but the best we could do. This morning I got up at 3, walked into the airport at 4:15 and caught a 5:30 flight to Charlotte NC. My best black heels clicked authoritatively from one end of the Charlotte airport to the other, over a mile in around 10 minutes with the help of moving walkways. I was just in time for my flight to Louisville, but unfortunately it was not in time for me.  The lady at the desk announced it was going to be delayed and I should be back around 8:45. I had an hour and a half, enough time for breakfast, so I headed down to the only place available, the NASCAR bar. I had overcooked eggs, really bad coffee, indifferent service, and a thirty something man at the table beside me who was delighted to get carded for the beer he ordered.

When I got back to the gate I still had an hour to wait before the sign rolled over to cancelled. An hour later I had exhausted all avenues and had to call my lawyer and let him know that the pigs won and I wouldn’t be in court today. My flight back to Richmond arrived a little after 12 at which time I had spent 8 hours traveling to Charlotte for breakfast. I decided to salvage the remains of the day by getting a short nap and then starting cooking for the party this Saturday. In case you have forgotten, it’s not to late to RSVP. My daughter has invited a lot of her friends at this point and the party promises to be a bit out of hand, but I can assure you that since I never made it to Kentucky you are safe from swine flu.  See you there.