They're going down

I’ve been a busy girl today traveling both to the sex shop and the gun store. Now that got your attention, right? You think there was a story in there, wouldn’t you, but actually the two are unrelated, just a few of the errands on my list for the day. Before you let your imagination go too far I will mention that the guns my son and I purchased were of the paint ball variety. I took him home before going to the Kiss and Make Up because no matter how liberal a mom I am, well, he’s my son.

I had no idea there was a sex/spicy lingerie shop in our rather conservative burg until last week. My, my, that was interesting. A very nice Jewish lady named Ruth asked what size bra I wore, and then flung open my jacket, and so help me, felt me up! She then announced I was not a C, but a DD and went about proving to me she was right. After trying on half the store, I went home with nice unmarked pink bag of 10 silk and lace items more expensive per ounce than gold, and feeling pretty happy with myself.

I carefully hid my new naughty things in the back of the lingerie chest I inherited from my Mom, listened carefully for sound of enraged angels for a moment, and then joined my son in the back yard. We spent an hour racing about the yard killing trees with splats of yellow paint. It seems pretty easy and fun, but of course trees don’t fire back. I realized we needed more ammo after a short time, and headed back to the store. The sales clerk remembered me. After all how many crazy, red headed women come in to buy paint ball guns and camouflage on the average day? He looked me in the eye and said, “You’re really playing paint ball, hum?” When I answered in the affirmative, he gave me a cool appraising look and said, “ Take lots of pictures.” Our rendezvous with destiny is on Sunday, when we will be fighting it out with the IT department on 20 acres of woodlands in New Kent County. I’m glad Jason is going with me. Unlike the guy in the gun store, and the tech support guys on Sunday, he knows it’s dangerous to underestimate me.