Better Living Through Chemistry

For some reason I feel strange talking about the sex my husband and I are having, perhaps because I had nothing to talk about for so very long. Truthfully, even in the early days there was more enthusiasm than craft on his part, but I take some responsibility for that. He is not a man who takes to change easily, the original immovable object at times, and I finally just accepted the fact that he had other good qualities and gave up asking for what I wanted. Through the years when we were trying to get pregnant, he seemed to get annoyed with me that we had to do it once a month whether he wanted to or not. After our last child he seemed relieved that he no longer was required to perform, and that’s when the serious drinking started. After a few years of trying to roust his comatose body from various locations throughout the house, I just gave up and drowned my own frustrations in sugar. For those of you who have been following this soap, that’s the short version of how I got to the beginning of this blog more than a year ago. My, my, how things have changed.

He’s determined that he’s going to get me to turn him down at least once, and I guess I should be nice and say uncle, but not yet. I have a lot of years to make up for and he is finally willing to listen and learn. I visited the doctor we both see this week and had a chat with him about my sex life. He’s about 35 and I’m pretty sure I embarrassed him a bit, but he seemed delighted. He told me my husband and I sounded like an advertisement for the little blue pill. Oh, did I mention the pill? All jokes aside, I am ready to kiss the feet, or any other part of the anatomy of the inventor. I know in the past my husband had some strictly physical problems related to the diabetes, but I really think the issue might be more psychological now that he has lost the weight, stopped the drinking, and gotten off a lot of the other meds he was taking. All I can say is damn; this is so much better than our honeymoon.

Perhaps it was the fright of the near death experience of our relationship, but he is very open to suggestions. I have shocked him more than a few times, but even if I do hear a big gulp, he really tries to accommodate me. Sometimes I am very wicked and suggest things even I don’t want to do just to see how far I can push this, but then I tell him I’m teasing. I am having a lot of fun and it’s plain that he is too. There is a spark in our relationship that is obvious to all our friends and we have totally grossed out at least two of our children. I will not remind them of all the things they have done to embarrass us, including bailing the same two of them out of jail. The good news is I think we may have finally motivated our middle child to move out of the basement. The bad news, well, none as far as I can tell, except did I mention we are very noisy?