OCTOBER AND STILL HOT

I was lying on my bed sideways, my feet on the railing, which brought my knees up level with my head. I held my breath in anticipation as my hands grasped the button of my jeans, and suddenly, oh my god, I got them fastened!! That’s three sized down from where I started two months ago, and I couldn’t be more turned on by the changes. Still a way to go, but getting ready to go out felt like the good old days when I was bad, well, just bad enough to have fun anyway. I decided it might be a good strategy to focus attention away from my still too padded middle by drawing the eye upward to a location I do not normally expose. The sheer camisole top and almost not there undergarments were not so much covered as framed by a brown jacket, and the girls did not go unnoticed. I added a newly purchased pair of brown high heel boots to the outfit and felt good enough that I would have added a picture to this post if my freaking digital camera wasn’t in a pout about something or other right now, batteries maybe, who knows.

What a great night it was. The crowd was mostly younger and the whole bar reeked of sex. My girls sang their hearts out, but everyone was too busy making connections to appreciate them sufficiently. I wanted to get up and make an announcement, “Guys, talented poets up here with voices like angels, shut up and listen!” By the time the next act came on everybody had leaned in close and were paying attention. He was awesome and had the crowd with him most of the time, except for some rowdies in the back. My son would not trade places with me, so I had to flirt across him with the really, really adorable guy who kept trying to buy me an Irish Car Bomb. Even though he was polishing one off every 20 minutes or so there for a while, I knew I was the DD and declined. Sober is also good and keeps things real, at least for me. Jason got sucked into the next act, the hot girl with long red hair and the too electric guitar, but was disappointed at the end of the evening when a man came up and slapped her territorially on the ass. At least he got distracted from protecting me.

I had a wonderful chat with my favorite of all Ben’s exes, an amazing, beautiful, and talented woman, another child of my heart who has grown into a friend. We found we had a lot to share and it felt very good being able to do so. We look forward to more talks in the future. I gave her this blog address and want to welcome her to comment or not as she likes. Thanks sweetie for being non-judgemental, compassionate, and making me laugh. I still think drunk John was disappointed that he couldn’t get in on a threesome with us. Note to girls out there: if you want to get a guy’s attention, just wonder outside and try to have a private conversation. All kidding aside, every time I tell the tale I have a few private tears, and go away stronger. I am replacing the grief that I release with courage, as I replace the lies with truth.