Why do I lie to myself?

The answer is, I never think it’s a lie, I just suspend my disbelief. I never got on the treadmill, or even moved it into place in the basement. I’ve been mad all week at my husband for taking the week off and doing absolutely nothing. Newspapers stack up on the coffee table and dirty pans in the sink while he sits in front of the TV watching football. He alters his routine by sitting in front of the computer watching football from time to time. I moved the artificial Christmas tree to the hall in front of our bedroom door today, ready to be pushed back up into the attic by someone with the appropriate upper body strength. At noon today, when he got up, I moved my clogged up vacuum in front of the couch and asked him to fix it while he sat. He worked for a while then said he needed a longer screwdriver. I told him they were downstairs. I told him directly that I was annoyed that he did nothing around the house for a week except make messes. He said nothing, but soon he had moved himself to the downstairs computer and TV, out of sight and hearing of my cleaning activities.

Okay, it’s not him. I am eating at him because I am annoyed, but that’s my issue that I need to overcome. I did try a cup of diet tea last night instead of the popcorn I wanted. It seems to have worked quite well, but for some reason I woke with a really bad migraine headache this morning. Wrenn came stumbling into the bedroom about 6, waking me, so I moved to the couch. I got up to throw up the water I drank twice, and finally made a pot of coffee. I drank 2 cups and went to sleep, waking at 10 with a clear head. I had two poached eggs and 2 pieces of dry toast, but put gooseberry jam on the second slice. I cleaned house and did laundry after, not eating lunch till 2. I had a bowl of boxed tomato soup, which was wonderful, along with 7 whole wheat crackers and 2 oz of fake turkey. I did very well till just a few minutes ago when I ate some chocolate peppermints I found in some of the Christmas stuff I’m still putting away. Still, not a bad day, if only I follow through this evening. I plan to have some green beans, fake beef slices and one other vegetable for dinner, maybe a salad.
I talked to my sister on the phone for an hour after lunch and realize I actually have it easy. She is recovering from eye surgery for a macular hole, has a husband who is probably a year away from death from CHF, and is barely making enough money to keep body and soul together. Now, on top of my other issues, I feel guilty about feeling so sorry for myself. This is not winnable is it?