My house from Space

There are two kinds of people in the world, ones who have to explain things and ones who don’t. Guess which kind I am?

Okay, I’m going to have a party and you are invited, but we need to get some stuff sorted up front. First, I do not do windows. I want that clearly understood. If you cannot abide the spider web collection in my kitchen windows bring a bottle of windex and some paper towels when you come. Second, the house needs painting, not the brick part mind you, but well, the windows, maybe a door or two. Third, if you are traveling from a distance or plan on being other than sober when the evening is over there are many flat surfaces on which to sleep, but privacy may be an issue. We’re all friends, right?

I know you’re asking yourself, “Now why would I want to attend a party at the home of this compulsive explainer?” I guess I should insert some positive notes. The house will not be immaculate but it will be acceptably hygienic. I am an excellent cook and I will be making fabulous food, food I am not allowed to eat, but you can. There will be too much of it and I will insist on you taking some home with you. There will be wine and beer and soft drinks and whatever you decided to bring. Wine will be served in wine glasses because I have about 500 of them. It’s a long story but I’ll be glad to tell you when you come.

You may get to meet my girl but you may not tell her that I talk about her all the time on my blog. She pretends she does not know about my blog. It’s a game we play. You will certainly get to meet Mr. Spellbound and you will most likely find him charming. You will get to meet my 5 cats and you will go home with cat hair on your clothing. I apologize in advance. Wait, that’s another negative. Did I tell you there will be dancing? I have ordered a warm dry evening and we can dance out on the deck under the starlight. If nature does not cooperate we can dance in the basement unless we have a hurricane. The two hurricanes we had on my daughter’s wedding weekend flooded my basement and the back yard had a river running though it. On a positive note bugs were not as much of a problem as we had anticipated for an outdoor wedding in August.

So, there it is folks, the date is May 16, the time is anytime you get here until you leave, but I might narrow that down a bit later. Breakfast will be served if you stay over. Mimosas and homemade biscuits will be on the menu. I have still not come up with a theme for the event so I may just go with my usual putting lipstick on a pig type of affair. As this is all rather amorphous but I will fill in the blanks as I go. Updates will be posted as things pop into my head. If you are not sufficiently horrified by the length and insanity of the invite put your RSVP in comments and I will email my address.