People on the road get lonely, I understand that and while the gym is a good place to work out some of those frustrations, there are some basics you should know before putting your key card in the door. I’m giving the benefit of the doubt to those individuals who have obviously never been inside a gym before believing all they need is some guidance.

- First, wear shoes. What are you thinking? It’s a hotel, not the beach.

- Second, pick up a towel. I know you have no plans to sweat, but they’re clean and fluffy and absorbent and it is good gym etiquette carry one.

- Third, if you just want to read the newspaper or watch TV, stay in your room or sit in the dining area. Do not fool yourself into thinking you are actually exercising. You are just taking up equipment that someone else could actually utilize as you pad slowly along in your house slippers.

- Forth, I know you are sick of being confined in a room with your teenagers, but do not send them to the gym to get them out of your hair. You brought them on this trip and don’t tell me you didn’t know what that would be like.

- Fifth, wipe down the machine after you finish and removing the salt, germs, and greasy fingerprints you left behind.

- Finally and most importantly, this tip for men. If you are not eye candy please do not come without a shirt. Maybe you haven’t checked yourself in the mirror when you were sober lately. I would suggest you do so immediately, side view if you don’t mind. If by no stretch of the imagination you could be considered ripped, a tee shirt, please, and a loose one if your most prominent feature is the flesh overhanging your belt. I promise I will pretend that you would look great with it off if you will just leave me with the illusion instead of the harsh reality.

Okay, rant over. BTW, it is freaking snowing in Denver this morning and my husband arrived last night without a jacket. I'm draging him out to put his PolarBear propensities to the test. Have a wonderful Sunday.